Case in point, yesterday, I was in an office building needing to get some paperwork to keep track of my time I'm on the computer and such, and when they asked what I did for a living, I stated I was an author. That would have ended there, if another customer waiting, hadn't asked me, "Oh wow! What kind of books do you write?" I get this often, and I wonder if they already know but want to actually hear me say it, or if they genuinely have no clue. I mean, I'm not a typical looking woman. Mom of three, African American, with a red mohawk, piercings in my face, and tattoos. Yep, I'm totally different, so I do answer, and proudly, if I might add, that I write erotic romance. Let me be the first to say, I am glad to become a conversation piece to break up the mundane life of the wait, but as people change, so do the degrees in which their questions come.
Another thing to point out, with this being a world of technology, the minute someone asks what name you write under, you can guarantee that they will be googling you immediately. This happened as I answered the barrage of questions, but the one that I was waiting for, the one I always get is, "I bet your sex life must be AMAZING!" It came about twenty minutes in, and though I almost used the same answer of, "Yup. My husband doesn't complain." I decided against it. Call it, being tired of sitting in an uncomfortable chair, or just needing to change things up a bit, I knew that I couldn't lie. It would be against everything I stand for as a human sexuality major.
So, I looked these group of ladies, and staff (yeah, they stopped working to listen to my words of wisdom) and told them the truth....
My sex life is the same as any married couple (10 years!) with three small children. When we find the time to have it, we do, but often, we're content snuggling back and watching Conan while the 14 month old rips the living room apart.
I know, it's shocking, but please, pick up the jaw, and understand. I'm an erotic romance author, yes, but I'm still a human being with a lot of other things I do. I homeschool, take care of the household, make sure no one is trying to steal someone's crayons, and try to handle a very mobile almost toddler. It can be exhausting once my husband gets home, and usually when he does, I hand the kids over, grab my laptop, and lock myself in the room so I can get some writing done. He too is usually exhausted when he gets in, and, he'll probably get me for this later, my sex drive is, and always has been, higher than his.
So, I explained this to them, telling them that sex doesn't HAVE to be physical all the time for us, especially after so many years. The beauty of being in the genre I am, is that I can imagine very naughty, and often taboo subjects. He then either hears me talking about them, or have him read one of my sex scenes in a book, and once the time comes that we're ready to get it on, WATCH OUT!! I can say that since writing in the erotic field, sex has gotten hotter, but it still happens as often as most busy couples. They were all shocked, but understood and I can say that I think I made myself more tangible to them. When they heard "published author" I became a higher being to many of those people. I could see it plainly on their faces.
"Oh, wow. She's, like, totally famous!"
Then when they learned despite my title, I was no different than any of them, they seemed to relax in comfort. And though the conversation turned light, and funny, it did still focus around sex. But it was comfortable sex talk. That was yesterday, and looking back on it, I realize when I got my degree, I was fearful I wouldn't have a place to use it. The job market being so hard to get into anymore. Yet, there I was, helping people, some which would have probably turned a few shades of pink at the mention of pussy and cock, laughing at the idea of me getting into the same position as my heroine just to make sure I lined everything up right in the book.
By the time I had to leave, I had many people looking for my book and I was proud to know I got them to that point to have no issues pulling up a sexy cover on their tech products. Indeed, as I turned and looked back at the window, I saw many of them holding up said pictures and showing each other. In a public office, waiting room! I was a super hero.
Yeah, just call me super sexy writing girl!